please help me!

dont go hiding out alone. Be with family or friends

Originally Posted by tnblonde

i would never hurt myself, i shouldnt have said that. i just meant that it would be great to not wake up, and not have to hurt anymore. i dont have a minister but i have talked to my friends and they are either married and dont understand or they are so caught up in their own problems i dont want to unload mine on them. i try to handle things myself but i'm not doing very well with this one!

When my marriage ended 9 years ago (after 15 years) I was so messed up I had to go seek professional help. I told the doctor that if she could just cut the pain out of my chest than all would be fine. What I learned is that it just takes time. The longer time went on the less it hurt and the less I missed my ex. It will get better but it is a process you have to go through.

Originally Posted by tnblonde

omg 10 years? that makes me feel even worse! i cant make it if you are still hurting after that long. i wish i could just close my eyes and not wake up! not because of him, i wouldnt give him that much credit. but because i cant stand this much hurt for that long!

You are so right when you said you would not give him that much credit!!! Takes a while. Take back yourself, do things that take your mind off that silly man!! Read a book, go for a walk, get some fresh air, play with kids, it will get easier. and more than likely the right guy will come around. Best when not looking.

ok this wont be easy first off. the best way to get over someone is to get another. you wont forget but it will teach your heart to love again. I lost my wife after 20 years of marrage. and I suffered and suffered bad. in fact I cryed last night. th wourld does get better but dont listen to thetime makes it better grap. find someone that makes you smile and hold there hand. start from there and it will get better. aaron.murphey@yahoo.com e-mail me if yo want to talk more. it is what helps me.

I went thru a divorce after 12yrs of marriage, I loved my wife with everybit of my being and it really hurt a lot. What I am going to tell you may sound awfull but it works, then when the hurting stops if you feel that you can still be friends it can be done. Do this ...each time you start thinking about him ...create such a hate for him, but do it with conviction and make it as real as you until you are angry. Repeat this each time and tell youself that you will not allow his memory to drag you down. Get angry vey angry and as much as you may not want to tell yourself that you hate him convince yourself of the fact. This excercise is the only thing that kept me sane...now she and I talk on the phone, email each other and we have even helped each other find employment...but I have no lingering feelings for her. I took me two years to get to this point so it will not happen overnight but it did work for me and I know it can work for you. Good luck.

im in the same boat so if u get it right let me know

Originally Posted by tnblonde

please tell me how to stop loving someone after being together for over 3 yrs! i know time will supposedly heal the hurt but I dont know how long i can deal with it! i'm ok one minute but the next i feel like my heart is about to explode and i have to go hide and have a meltdown! please help me! how do you make the pain and hurt go away??

We have all been there one time or another. There are many that turn to drinking as a solution but when you stop the problem is still there so I would say stay away from drinking and bars even if they are tempting. I would look into a new hobby work on enhancing your career it is a time where you can give yourself the opportunity to start fresh. I have been in a similar situation and have climbed to the top with a great career and enjoy going to my job. Now I am taking the time to find someone who will complete me after all my hard work.

Originally Posted by tnblonde

please tell me how to stop loving someone after being together for over 3 yrs! i know time will supposedly heal the hurt but I dont know how long i can deal with it! i'm ok one minute but the next i feel like my heart is about to explode and i have to go hide and have a meltdown! please help me! how do you make the pain and hurt go away??

You sound EXACTLY like me, just change the hair color, you even use the same language I do. I have added this, "I dont want the cheese, I just want to get out of the trap" . I have no answers.....just pain.

Originally Posted by tnblonde

please tell me how to stop loving someone after being together for over 3 yrs! i know time will supposedly heal the hurt but I dont know how long i can deal with it! i'm ok one minute but the next i feel like my heart is about to explode and i have to go hide and have a meltdown! please help me! how do you make the pain and hurt go away??

I wish I couls say the magic words but I am in the same exact position same exact but 2 weeks ago I blew up on her. Now she honestly won't talk to me and I don't blame her at all I wouldn't talk to me either. All my hurt , saddness, pain, every emotion came out. I find myself thinking about her when I have nothing to do so I keep busy and make myself busy with friends, family, activities. I have to or I will go crazy.

I am in the same boat but it has only been 18 months. I miss her like I have never missed anyone in my life. I am not embarrassed to admit that, as a male, I sob every day thinking about her.

Contact me if you want to talk more.